The BLUGH: January 17, 2024
“The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.”
It’s winter and it’s dark outside so that means I’m extra sleepy OH WAIT I’M ACTUALLY ALWAYS SLEEPY. I have ALWAYS needed a lot of sleep. Like since birth I have craved sleep. I remember every single moment of my life and as I recall, this is how my first moments looked:
I am born: exhausting for me, I immediately wanted to go to sleep but needed to address a few things first.
Clean up/Dry off: I had someone do this for me because I was a literal newborn and did not have much motor function to speak of.
Introduce myself to Mommy: Speaking of speaking, I quickly introduced myself to my mother with a firm handshake (what babies lack in most motor skills they actually make up for in handshakes), informed her I would call her “Mommy” well into adulthood, and let her know that I’d be a problem.
Thank the doctor for his help: No handshake for the doc though. He hadn’t yet washed up.
Take the first nap of my life: this was a defining moment for sure, the beginning of a long and rewarding relationship between me and sleeping.
So yeah, that’s the story of my birth as a remember it. 👶
But now I am no longer a baby who sleeps. I am an adult who sleeps and there are a few things I do and use to achieve optimal slumber.
Step 1: Increase temperature
I can’t sleep well in the cold and so need to heat up the room to a cozy 90 degrees ahead of shut-eye. I used to use a heating pad and just lay on that until my skin was singeing off my body and as relaxing as that was, I shifted to a space heater a while ago and love it. This space heater is the BEST: quiet, heats the space up well, and has cute little remote!
Step 2: Spray magic potion
This was the result of falling prey to TikTok influencing but thus is (my) life. Dr. Teal’s sleep spray is a mix of melatonin and essential oils meant to promote the best sleep ever. Is it scientifically proven to help you fall asleep or sleep better? I cannot say. But I will tell you that spraying this on my pillow every night before bed has resulted in a Pavlovian effect that means if I smell this, I am SLEEPING. Also, it smells great! I’d also like to take this opportunity to promote my soon-to-be-released Dr. Feel’s spray, a blend of tinctures that is meant to promote the best cry ever. Combine with Dr. Teal’s sleep spray for the perfect cry-nap combo.
Step 3: Assemble the fabrics
Everything I touch while sleeping should be soft. YET AGAIN I fell prey to advertising and caved and brought the Brooklinen sheets and let me tell you, 😭they are just ok😭. Just buy the Mellanni sheets! Way softer and WAY cheaper!! For PJs, I go with these Summersalt satiny/silky ones (on sale as of the sending of this email!!!). Finally, for the pièce de résistance, I lay my weary head on the best pillowcase ever (STRONG RECOMMEND!)
So that’s mostly the process! I also frequently read a book (most recently I read Carmilla which was apparently part of the inspiration for Dracula!!), lie awake with existential dread, and then when I am on the very brink of falling into a sweet slumber, my most brilliant ideas, thoughts, and epiphanies come to me, only to be forgotten in the morning.
1911-Present
Nonchaloir
One time my sisters were in Washington D.C. without me and they brought this home for me because they saw it and apparently immediately thought of me so that was very sweet and hilarious of them.