The BLUGH: March 1, 2023
“I think character is permanent, and issues are transient.”
Happy Wednesday! BLUGH time.
On my mind this week are heroes. I don’t know if I currently have a hero (besides Della, obvi). I have not thought about who my hero is for a LONG time but I do know that my first hero(es) were the cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway? (late nineties / early 2000s) for obvious reasons. Self help aficionada that I am, I have of course done the obligatory “I am my life’s hero” work that ya do, but I am keenly aware that I have had an easy life that hasn’t required much heroism.
But what got me thinking about heroes this week anyway? My friend, Carrie, shared the below and I like it a lot. I hope you like it too:
“Leonard Cohen said his teacher once told him that, the older you get, the lonelier you become, and the deeper the love you need. This is because, as we go through life, we tend to over-identify with being the hero of our stories.
This hero isn’t exactly having fun: he’s getting kicked around, humiliated, and disgraced. But if we can let go of identifying with him, we can find our rightful place in the universe, and a love more satisfying than any we’ve ever known.
People constantly throw around the term “Hero’s Journey” without having any idea what it really means. Everyone from CEOs to wellness-influencers thinks the Hero’s Journey means facing your fears, slaying a dragon, and gaining 25k followers on Instagram. But that’s not the real hero’s journey.
In the real hero’s journey, the dragon slays YOU. Much to your surprise, you couldn’t make that marriage work. Much to your surprise, you turned forty with no kids, no house, and no prospects. Much to your surprise, the world didn’t want the gifts you proudly offered it.
If you are foolish, this is where you will abort the journey and start another, and another, abusing your heart over and over for the brief illusion of winning. But if you are wise, you will let yourself be shattered, and return to the village, humbled, but with a newfound sense that you don’t have to identify with the part of you that needs to win, needs to be recognized, needs to know. This is where your transcendent life begins.
So embrace humility in everything. Life isn’t out to get you, nor are your struggles your fault. Every defeat is just an angel, tugging at your sleeve, telling you that you don’t have to keep banging your head against the wall. Leave that striver there, trapped in his lonely ambitions. Just walk away, and life in its vastness will embrace you.”
―Paul Weinfield (Source)
🐝 LEARNING OF THE WEEK: Did you know that Della once saved our plumber’s life? She did. It is an epic story with a happy ending but suffice it to say, everyone should know how to administer an EpiPen on someone else. 🐝
PRODUCT RECOMMENDATION
Omg that bear is so scary and headed right towards you! It was hard for me to figure out what product to feature in a hero-themed BLUGH. Bear Spray is a must for hiking in certain areas of the USA and could save your life. It can also save a bear’s life! They get warned that humans are not friends and steer clear. More info here. Also, I did not know bear spray was a thing until I moved to Wyoming after college!
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BOOK RECOMMENDATION
Very happy to share this author with you this week. James Bond Stockdale used stoicism (I love stoicism) as as tool to survive POW camp in Vietnam. You can start slow by reading Courage Under Fire, a speech he gave at King’s College in 1993 or dive right into Thoughts of a Philosophical Fighter Pilot. Life can be very hard, but as James said, “I think character is permanent, and issues are transient” (the quote of today’s BLUGH 😌).
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YOUTUBE
Had to forego TikTok because reflecting on my Whose Line Heroes sent me down a delightful rabbit hole. Does anyone else remember how great it was? 🥹🥹🥹
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October 2007
Real Life Hero
I had the opportunity to meet a real life hero once. It is difficult to conceptualize how much good Dr. Paul Farmer did until he died last year and his legacy lives on in the organization Partners In Health. If you want to know the tip of the iceberg of what he did, I highly recommend reading Tracy Kidder’s Mountains Beyond Mountains.